Ruminations

By Alex Schmiechen

Artist’s Statement:  “This series of work is inspired by my internal ruminations, anxieties, and resilience. I feel shame and self judgement due to my anxiety, which I seek to release through acts of vulnerability in my pottery practice. It emerges in my surface decoration through the words I inscribe on my vessels, as well as the meditative actions that accompany wheel throwing. I am often hesitant to tell people about my experience with anxiety; it is difficult but also freeing to explain it through the aesthetic choices in my work.

I experience anxiety as high levels of illogical panic and stress; fears and self judgement overwhelm me. I often worry that I am not doing enough, that I will be alone, and I am uncertain about the future. My chest and throat are tight. My eyes water. I want to isolate. I try to remind myself that I am enough and that I am ok. I try to ground myself and let the wave of feeling pass – it eventually does. I hold on and allow myself to feel instead of tamping down my emotion out of fear.

If you look closely you can see my thoughts written on these vessels. I wrote these phrases on everyday items, such as planters and mugs, to convey not only the pervasiveness of my own anxiety but also my own resilience. Anxiety is an everyday experience for me and many others, but so is our strength and persistence to keep on going as best we can. I am working on accepting that these high levels of anxiety may always be a part of me. I am trying to let go and be gentle with myself.”